One of those days?

Hmmm .. I am sat outside on the balcony enjoying the gorgeous sunshine with a cup of herbal tea.
I would say I'm sitting out here to soak up some sun rays but to be honest, its because of the bickering going on inside the house with the little ones.
Now I remember sibling rivary but sometimes I think my children take it a little too far! And I'm pretty sure I wasn't arguing over nothing when I was about 4 or 5!
And its over Olivia singing away quietly to herself. Adam is getting more and more irrated by it.
And thats all it is.

And I'm pretty sure also, that the arguements subside a little when you reach 18! we'll say no more on that one!

So, nice excuse for me to sit outside for a bit of peace and quiet.
Well, would be peaceful if the neighbour across the way was't sawing his blooming tree down!! why pick a nice weekday? oh well shouldnt complain I guess. Oh, too late, I already have done.

Gypsy x

A poem

Tuesday, 27 September 2011 08:09 by Gypsy Flower

I found a poem whilst browsing for some cute pictures. I don't know who the author is as it was from a forum of a few poems written in by random people.
Anyway, I thought it very fitting for the situation my mother and I are in.
And so I put it onto a back ground and added in some colour. 

I thought it was very nice and actually left me with a lump in my throat.

Sometimes its hard to express how you feel. Sometimes I find it incredibly hard to explain what I mean sometimes.
So coming across something like this makes a huge difference to me.

If anyone knows the author do let me know.

I should write my own poems again, I use to always write poems and songs and stories etc. I just don't seem to find the time much now days. Can barely keep up with blogs!

Gypsy x 

My Birthday ..

Sunday, 25 September 2011 16:27 by Gypsy Flower

My birthday was on 24th September.

I awoke at about 5am with the dog barking. At 5.50am I decided to just get up as I couldn't get back to sleep. I opened the bedroom door to a doggy piddle.  Great start to my birthday so far.

Opened up my pressies with the family all gathered round on my bed, the usual way. I had a hand made card from Adam and a box of posh chocolates. I had a rock from the beach from Olivia and a beach cardi. I had a pair of sandels from Kylan. Holley got me a pair of white beach trousers. Makaulay got me Opal and quartz crystal earrings. and Ashley got me...nothing. He was waiting for payday, so let him off!
My wonderful inlaws got me some clothes from NEXT, my favourite shop back in the UK. And my grandma in law got me a nice wool top.
My mother and step father got me a gold linked bracelet. which was gorgeous.

My wonderful husband made me a coffee with a cream top. Then it was a rush around to get ready and have breakfast. I was due at swimming to clock up my hours for 7.30am and time was pressing on. I ended up leaving most of my breakfast because it got too soggy.

Dashed out the door and went to swimming. Only to enter, an empty carpark! I waited around and called my husband. I decided to go home. Not spending my birthday hanging around in a carpark. I was a bit miffed no one told me too!

I got home and we decided to make a list of some cars to go see. We've been car hunting and people carrier hunting. I need a smaller car and we also need a big family van to go out at weekends etc.

I saw a gorgeous car, gold daewoo. Never really noticed them before, but this one was cute and I wanted it...NOW
So, we phoned the guy and he said it was still available. Off we went to go and view it. When we arrived, we could see another family looking around the car!.. I sat inside ours waiting. I had a feeling they were going to take it and I was right! .. I was pretty gutted!!

So we travelled back home, doing a detour to Brisbane to have a meal at Govinders. Mmmmm takes the bitter taste out of my mouth after my disappointed with the car!

We went home and spent about 40 mins looking online at other cars. We made a note of a couple more and went off to see them. Came back with nothing. The cars were a disappointment!. 
Then my husband spotted another one ..'What do you think of this one babe' he said.
I had a look and saw it was a Renault Clio, I wasn't over joyed but thought anythings better than nothing at all. So my husband phoned the guy and the car was still available. We drove over to see him, which was about an hour away.
When we got there and walked up to the drive, we notice another car pull up. They too had come to look at the car! I couldnt believe this was happening. Luckily for us, we were here first this time!

We took it for a test drive and I loved it! I said 'Buy it!' so we came home with 'Ren' Thats his name.

So, to start the day of my birthday, it wasn't looking good, but by the end of it, I was a happy bunny!

I'm in Heaven :)

Monday, 19 September 2011 18:38 by Gypsy Flower

I just spent most of today looking at these gorgeous caravans.. Yes its all because of my previous blog earlier today!

I can't get enough of them. I so dearly want to own one... Especially the earlier one.

But anyway, here is some other ones I've been drooling over...

I'm just soooo in love with these. I need to own one and hopefully one day I will!

Gypsy x

I want one!!

Monday, 19 September 2011 06:52 by Gypsy Flower

I just have to show this off.
I was reading through somebodys blog and saw this and just HAD to have the pictures.
This is most definately what I want.

Even the colour scheme. I'm normally either a pink person or a colourful person just lately. But I'm loving the Red and Green in these pics and I must have the van AND the colour scheme AND everything that matches I just LOVE it!

I even love the car... OK i'd want air con and tints but yes, I want all of it!! 

I want it, I want it, I WANT IT!! isn't it gorgeous?!! I'm in love with it.

Bet I couldn't find anything like it though, or the  matching things, I know its all for display purposes, But I would love to have the identical van and equipment, down to every last cup and saucer :)

Gypsy x

Rainbow Bay

Monday, 19 September 2011 06:35 by Gypsy Flower

Had a lovely day at the beach yesterday! It feels like months since we last went, although it was probably just a month.
Living in Cornwall in the UK right next to the beach, you just get use to being on it everyday, so when you live away from
the coast and only visit the sea every other week, it feels strange, almost like we're on holiday!

We do miss living next to the coast. Maybe its time for a new place to live ;) 

Just to be able to walk down after school with the children was such a luxury for us.

The children wasted no time in getting into the sea!

Olivia packed in everything in the first hour of being there.. She made Sand Angels, and buried herself, and paddled and jumped the waves and collected shells and rocks and stones and much much more, as though she thought this was her last time ever!

Lots of beautiful wildlife there to greet us on the way down to the beach ..

And the best bit of all? ... Seeing the whales in the distances... These shots are zoomed in quite far so are a little blurry.

I think we will hire a boat out one day and have a closer look! what a treat that would be, it's what made the trip to the beach yesterday worth every second :)

Gypsy x

Swimming Course

Tuesday, 13 September 2011 17:44 by Gypsy Flower

Well. I went to my course on Sunday. I nearly made myself ill with worry but I managed it in the end.

I walked in and luckily there were only 2 other girls there, who seemed to be nice and Kathi the course instructor was very friendly ad relaxing. Told me to make myself a coffee and chill. I did. After everybod arrived, a total of about 15 of us we began. 

I made a few boobs (Mistakes) I was suppose to have demonstrated a 'Butterfly' and my first attempt I just ...well, laid flat faced in the water and just looked like some wood drift! I stood up after floating for so long and tuned to the instructor and said 'I don't even know what I was doing?!' 
Thankfully she laughed. 
On my second attempt, I demonstrated out of the water the butterfly, yes, perfect, got into the water and did breast stroke!?

I just didn't know what I was thinking? and Kathi looked at me smiling and said 'Breast stroke???'  

9 Hours I spent in the water on my course day! 9 hours!!! Oooh and I did ache the following day. I said to my husband, 'You know, I think I may have pulled a muscle or something because my neck and shoulders really hurt'
He looked at me with his eyes half open and said  said 'No babe, thats the muscles you worked that you forgot you had!!' - Thanks darling.

At least I passed :)

Anyway, all I have to do now, is 20 hours shadowing another teacher. and CPR/First aid and I am away!!!

Off for a well earned early night now
G'night chickies

Gypsy x

My Little Angel...

Friday, 9 September 2011 11:54 by Gypsy Flower

Oooh it has been a long time since I last blogged. I have been so busy these past few weeks.

I take my course on Sunday (2 days Arrrgghh) and I am still making my Crystal babies. and I am still working my somewhat boring job. And we have had my son return home (Thats a long story in itself) and a new addition to the family with a dog (Thats a longer story in itself).

I thought I would use a blog a day to talk about each of my adorable children... In no particular order.

Today is going to be about Holley. My first daughter.

Gorgeous little madam. She tries so hard to please people. such a kind hearted little soul. Very artistic. Loves all things girlie.   She likes to sing and dance and act. 

She likes to write, Alot!.. and draw, and make things.  She can make very small little things which can be quite fiddly to the smallest of fingers. She copes very well.

Here are some of her little drawings and doodles.

 

This is just a few of her little doodles, drawn on scrap paper, anything she can draw on she will.

 

This is a song shes trying to learn, 'Do you believe' by Cher.  And the next picture is part of a play she was doing. She does lots of little role plays and stories. I have tried to encourage her to write her own book! she gets half way through it and then drifts onto something else of interest.

 

More role playing...

 

And Holley often writes me little messages. I think this is so cute.  Makes me melt everytime. Hope we always have this closeness. 

I have no idea what was going through her mind when she wrote the first letter here. She often watches something on TV a film, possibly a sad one and then imagines that this could happen to her. And thats when I recieve another letter. Bless her. 

The second letter here is when she was poorly. I told her to lay in bed and she will be better soon. And she wrote me a little note, which I replied to.

 

Some other doodles I came across in her room.

 

Here is some shells Holley found and decorated. And some dolly pegs.

  

Another letter to me when she wasn't feeling well...

 

And I believe this is something that she needed to make for a school project. 

 

Holley as always had this fasination for injured people. Even when she was younger she would mimic a young boy who had cerebral palsy. She would put blue tack in her ear and a bobble around the outside of her ear to imitate an hearing aid.  She also would be absolutely mesmerized by people in wheelchairs or with any sort of disablity. I remember one time when she walked past a man in a wheel chair and stroked him. And saw a woman with a deformed hand aND asked if she was alright.

Looking at this picture, I think she still has that fasination, I hope this means she would like to be a nurse when shes older, or a Doctor. :)

I could talk about my Holley all day, but I have alot to do so I will continue another day.

Holley, mummy loves you more than you will ever know x <3

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Fathers day ,,

Saturday, 3 September 2011 09:37 by Gypsy Flower

Fathers day tomorrow... I often wish I had my father to send cards and pressies to, to spoil now I'm the adult.

But my dad only saw what was at the bottom of a bottle.  I missed him even though I rarely saw him.  I doubt he would reckonise me if he saw me.  I believe he knows he has a daughter, I don't believe he would know it's me unless he was sober.

It was sad times for me Fathers day.

Sad times for me Mothers day too I guess (although my mother fortunately wasn't always looking at the bottom of the bottle).  I think she was more looking at how to better her own life and just assumed her children could adapt to whatever was thrown at them!.  

I rarely saw my mother  when I was growing up.  I remember the volitile relationship with my dad and her new boyfriend. A keen interest in the man that was in her life.  Us kids were put to one side and let out every now and again, sometimes just to make fun of! ...That wasn't actually the case but certainly felt like it.

She at least spent a little bit longer in my life than my father did.  Although it wasn't for the desire of being my mother -  I felt it was more of an obligation.

This kind of issue use to make me feel so sad.  I was angry with not having 'Normal' parents.  I was angry not being listened to, not being looked after.  Not having attention.  Not feeling loved.

I was a very angry person because of the early years of my life.  I was bitter, selfish, jealous, suspicious, nasty, yet confused, needy, lost and very very lonely.

Now, I see it for the better.  Im a much stronger person, I'm no longer the victim. I am the survivor. I survived all of it. And I did most of it alone!

I have come to terms with the fact my parents were the way they were, they were very young.  

 They didn't have that experience or knowledge of bringing up children.  But then, who does? until you actually have your own children how do you gain that experience? 

OK i could never imagine being out of my childrens lifes. Or putting my children through the things I went through.  But each person is different.  And each person has their own reasons and reasoning.

I suppose my parents tried their best, I believe my mother did love us, in her own way.

 

They maybe lacked loving themselves at some time in their lifes, maybe when they were growing up.

I can see how growing up in a disfunctional family can have a huge impact on your own life and then on your childrens lives, if you choose to follow that same path.  

I chose to lay down my own path and start walking down it holding the hands of my children.

Guiding them and protecting them. When they are ready to let go, I will let them, and watch them and see if they need a hand back up if they fall.  Isn't that what parenting is all about?

My strength was my children, my motivation was my children and my better life of peace and forgiveness is from my loving husband.

The proud Father, the loving Father, the man who is always there for his children, the man who picks them up and wipes their tears.  The man who will crawl around the floor so they can ride on him or hit him with pillows! or something harder at times, the man that reads them stories and takes pictures at school plays, the man that encourages his children when they feel they might fail.  

The man who can see past my selfish life, my past mistakes, my evil tongue and love me for me, love us all for who we are, not what we were .. 

The man who gave me his hand when I was falling down the pit of hell. The man I owe my life to.

Now I can enjoy Fathers day...  And Mothers day knowing we've done a bloody good job.... considering.

I don't resent my parents anymore.  They had trials of life as we all do at some point. And I know in my heart, my mother tried her best.

As much as I miss my dad, And wish he was in our lifes.  I am disappointed in him, who even now, still looks for answers at the bottom of a glass. He chose to stay on that path. And that makes me sad.

I am happy to say that my Mother and I are making amends and rebuilding our relationship.

 We can't bring back the lost years or fill them in. We can't change history or wish we had done things differently.  The future is all we have.  Its all any of us have. Time to start putting in some of todays memories to make some history thats full of happiness later on.

I am happy in myself now and I can see a brighter future.

Gypsy x